


Putting on a Show

by MHJoker4Ever



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25161439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MHJoker4Ever/pseuds/MHJoker4Ever
Summary: As an idol, practically every part of Sayaka belonged to someone else. Even on her special day. But she was fine with that - she was used to putting on shows by now.That didn't mean EVERY part of her was open to anybody and everybody. And if she cracked a bit from being pulled between that special person and her career... that was fine, too. You have to be tough to make it in show business. And Sayaka was resilient by this point.But if it ever came down to it, well...(Introspective piece, late birthday fic for Sayaka)
Relationships: Maizono Sayaka & Naegi Makoto, Maizono Sayaka/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Putting on a Show

“Pretty nice turnout, don’t you think?”

Sayaka smiled brightly at the piles and stacks of presents that sat in a corner of the dressing room. All shiny and dolled up, just begging to be torn into and opened. Each one a token sign of affection from the fans to Sayaka Maizono on her special day. As many gifts as there were stars in the sky…

~~She hated how plastic the smile felt.~~

“Totally!” The bluenette beamed at Satomi appreciatively, the both of them stripping out of their stage outfits. The other girls were already changed and seeing to it the dinner arrangements were still in order for the party.

Idols had to follow certain traditions and rules, and July 7 was no exception. A day that should have been hers. A day that should have been filled with laughter, parties, and friends… One without worries or stress.

… But then again, the day was still technically hers. It was all about her. Her manager saw to that. He made sure to make it a sensational celebration, every year. Music, parties, and all the friends in the world… Everyone there to support and **love** her on that one, special day.

~~The one day she wanted peace.~~

“You should really fix that before the manager sees…” Aoba advised in a businesslike tone, getting dressed. “I mean, I know who you’d rather be doing right now. But Souta-san’s been getting more suspicious of late, and do you really wanna blow it when he’ll be watching you like a hawk tonight?”

He always did. Because perish the thought of **Sayaka Maizono** being disappointed or depressed on her birthday. If she wasn’t at her brightest tonight, then when?

“… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Sayaka grinned cheekily, relieved it felt a little more natural now…

Just a little.

“Sayaka…” Aoba groaned and turned to face her, hands on her hips. “Really! Just… put off thinking about it for one night! You’re gonna gluttonously indulge over the weekend, anyway. For all our sakes, just… enjoy tonight. If you don’t, he’s gonna find out, and it’s curtains. You know this.”

The grin dipped, but didn’t completely disappear. Ayaka or anyone else could walk in at any moment, after all… She couldn’t afford to slip up, even in the dressing room. Satomi was right – Sayaka did know this. She knew this routine like the back of her hand, and yet…

It was getting harder. Especially with this being her senior year of high school… Next year was going to be very different. Their group was expected to soar to greater and greater heights upon her graduation from Hope’s Peak. That was the plan, and they were well on their way to achieving those heights already. Souta-san was even talking about possible international gigs…

“I’ll try, Satomi…” Sayaka murmured, attempting to distract herself with the piles of presents.

She still must have been too obvious, because Satomi walked over and spun her around so they could be face-to-face.

“Hey. Are you sure you’re okay?” The dark-haired girl quirked an eyebrow questioningly.

Inwardly, Sayaka laughed bitterly.

“Yes.” ~~No.~~

Satomi’s frown deepened.

“You sure you don’t need a week off? I’m sure we can swing it by Souta-san… It wouldn’t be the first time you faked being sick.”

Sayaka grinned wryly at her friend.

“So soon after my birthday? Even if I couldn’t get out of bed, he’d make sure I did talk shows or magazine covers… A fan getting me sick just wouldn’t do.”

That’d throw the tabloids into an uproar for sure…

Satomi’s frown deepened, her brow creasing in concern.

“Sayaka, I’m serious. A week isn’t really that big a deal; it’s been a while since you did that, anyway. Even you need to… recharge.”

Sayaka sagged just a little bit more at the reminder. A while… Yeah, that definitely wasn’t an exaggeration. Half a year at least. Sure, they still saw each other in class, still got together for study sessions occasionally… He was even nice enough to call or text every day to keep her going… To keep **them** going…

But that was the problem. Makoto was doing all the work, and he got nothing out of it. Just a secret relationship that was more trouble than it was worth for him, if people found out. He was satisfying her selfishness, her greed, and he weathered the loneliness by himself. By all accounts, he should have been miserable… Sometimes, he was. Komaru-chan was nice to have on speed dial, because for all his honesty and upfront nature, Makoto could keep a secret when it counted.

Even when that meant glossing over how much he missed her…

“I’ll… be fine.” Sayaka insisted, putting on her brightest smile. “Like you said, Souta-san can’t find out!”

One of the biggest taboos in the industry, and she was committing it. But to be fair, she would have regretted it for the rest of her life if she hadn’t asked Makoto out… And it’s not like they could make their idol group last forever...

Aoba sighed exasperatedly, shaking her head in disapproval.

“Sayaka, you’re going to burn yourself out! Just keep balancing it. It’s worked ‘til now! If you don’t take some downtime… Next year is gonna kill you.”

The bluenette simply kept her million-watt smile up, feeling herself get ‘better’ about it all…

She supposed that was the biggest secret of all. The biggest lie – to herself and to everyone else. Truthfully, the more time she indulged with Makoto, the more impossible it was to keep the balance. Maybe that was why she hadn’t played hooky in half a year… Not because they’d gotten so impossibly busy, or because they couldn’t risk being caught…

It wasn’t that **at all**.

The truth is… Sayaka was scared. If she indulged any more than this, that “week” might as well become her retirement… After all, Makoto was everything she could possibly want or need. And she felt awful about everything she was putting him through with all the secrets. Even giving her this weekend with him, in exchange for her birthday, was pushing it. It was almost like a test, honestly.

How could she return to work on Monday when Makoto’s unwavering love and support was right there? How could she ask him to keep waiting for her? If next year was going to be so hard, why go back at all?

The more time Sayaka spent with him, the more these questions floated in the back of her head. She still loved being an idol, of course, but the issue was that it was becoming more and more of a choice between her childhood dream and her boyfriend… And if it did come down to that, Sayaka knew exactly what she would choose in a heartbeat. Each and every time.

Sayaka loved being an idol, being an inspiration to so many people… But if that was all she wanted, there were plenty of other avenues open that didn’t judge her for falling in love. Makoto made that clear as day, the way he helped her and so many others… But she’d keep putting on a song and dance for as long as people were willing to watch and listen to her. She did owe them that much.

Sayaka loved being an idol with all her heart. She just loved Makoto even more.

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of this was pretty heavily inspired by TellThemNaegi's Naezono fics, as well as a couple of others. Still was fun to muse about Sayaka's potential thoughts on all this, had she and Makoto been in a relationship while they were in school. As a devil's advocate for myself, perhaps it's a bit idealistic with this perspective. Romance is actually one of my more challenging genres to write for, but I still make the effort because Naezono is too tempting to resist... 
> 
> Lemme know if I bombed. It was just a little thing for Sayaka's birthday since I was too tired to hammer out something yesterday. :3


End file.
